Blame

Few days back, I was talking to my friend who was a bit upset. He had a strained relationship with his dear friend. Obviously he was disturbed. I called him to talk to him and if possible share few good words with him just to make him feel better. We had a long conversation. Something unusual about the conversation was; I noticed, never, not even once did my friend speak a word against his dear friend. He never blamed her for what went wrong. In turn he told me “she is not to be blamed. I wanted things to go my way. But it didn’t. Why should I blame her? "

Though those were very simple words, I shall never forget them.

Don’t we all find ourselves getting angry and worked up? Don’t we all immediately start casting about in our mind to identify someone to blame for the problem?

Don’t we all blame others just because things didn’t go our way???

Like, blaming a boss who made us work late, blaming a maid who came in late.
I don’t know what difference my words made on my friend. But his wonderful words of wisdom had a great impact on me. I learnt that the easiest thing to do is to find fault. But if we make that one effort to feel compassion instead of blame, the heart opens again and shows us a new way.

Blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him/her, it will not change YOU. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty by blaming him. But you won't succeed in changing something that is about YOU which is making you unhappy.

Stop blaming others and take ownership of your life.

Thanks to my friend who shared such wisdom.